In September of 2006, my only child was diagnosed as severely autistic and mentally retarded. At the time when my son was diagnosed I had no knowledge of what autism meant. I asked the child psychologist who diagnosed my son to explain or define autism. She told me that it meant my child would never learn to talk,
read or write, that he could never learn self-help skills and he would probably
end up in an institution.
That last sentence felt like a sharp knife going through my heart. Something inside me refused to believe her prediction about my child's future. I then explained to her that I had managed to potty train him (even though it was a challenge) so he was capable of learning. But instead she insisted that sometimes these children only learn one or two skills in their lifetime.
When we left her office, I helped my son into his carseat, looked at him and said, “Tulonga, don't believe anything that woman said about you. She doesn't know you. There is nothing wrong with you. You will talk when you are ready to. And you will learn to do anything you want, if you want to.”
He didn't respond or show me any sign that he understood what I had just said to him. He just sat there with a blank look on his face. I sat there next to him wondering when or what had gone wrong. My son was born a healthy and sociable baby. Tulonga was a bouncy, silly and happy baby who was developing very well. He was so alert, even as a newborn. People would often comment on how alert he seemed. But without any warning, in his second year, he began to decline into social withdrawal. Our happy little guy began to throw tantrums, hitting people when he didn't get his way and didn't seem to know how to play with other children any more. He seemed totally involved in his own world.
Even though it was finally a relief to get the diagnosis and find out that there was an explanation for his behavior, it was devastating to find out that there was no cure to autism.
Not wanting to waste any time, I immediately began to make arrangements with the Regional Center (an autism treatment place in California) to begin his treatment. I was very surprised, disappointed and even angry to find out that I was on a wait-list and there was no way of knowing when his treatment would begin. From there the journey of searching for treatment and support for my
son’s condition led from one dead-end to another.
The school district he was attending at the time informed me that they only provided therapy to children under the age of 3. They believed that children over the age of five no longer had the ability to learn. I was advised that Kaiser Permanent had the best autism treatment for children. However, they too, only provide the treatment for children under the age of 3. The doctor couldn’t help with my son’s autism, but wanted to prescribe medication to control his hyperactivity and to make him more manageable in class. Not believing medication was the answer I refused this method and continued searching for a different solution.
Our search also led us to Children’s Hospital in Columbus Ohio, where they provide treatment to children up to the age of 21. But, we learned that it would take a series of evaluations, a process lasting up to a year, before Tulonga’s treatment could even begin. Finally, the Regional Center in California got back to me with a letter suggesting that I put my son in a live-in-home for people with disabilities. At the age of six, they’d
rather lock him away than provide him with treatment. This was so heartbreaking, but it made me realize that the only person who believed in Tulonga’s recovery was me.
Some people advised me that my child was entitled to the treatment by law, and I could sue the school district for refusing to provide my son with the treatment. My answer was very simple, I wanted to use my energy helping my son, not fighting people who did not believe in his progress.
I decided to take my efforts to the internet and that's when I found the Son-Rise Program. The Son-Rise program seemed different from Applied Behavior Analysis. What I found interesting was that they joined the children in their self-stimulating behaviors instead of stopping them. In joining the child you create a bond and build a loving relationship.
I decided to join him right away, before I even went to the training. Tulonga used to run back and forth holding a stick in one hand, chanting eerie sounds. I joined him in this activity, after about 5minutes I thought to myself, “What am I doing? He doesn't even know that I'm trying to play with him.” So, I stopped. As soon as I stopped my son came up to me, looked me right in the eye and mumbled these words to me, “M-m-mommy paaay,” (meaning mommy play). I was so shocked and excited at the same time. I immediately joined him and that was the beginning of our Son-rise journey.
I attended the first Son-Rise course in January of 2008 in Sheffield MA and we have had amazing success with it. Tulonga's eye contact and willingness to interact has dramatically increased. His understanding improved, enabling him to make connections. He began to initiate play and seek his mother's attention. Tulonga has developed and progressed from anti-social, self absorbed and self stimulating activities to relating to other people, and his inter-active activities continue to expand. Tulonga has even learned to read and write at level one. He has learned addition, subtraction and multiplication.
We still have many rivers to cross but it is encouraging to find a program that believes my son's potential is limitless. Son-Rise has taught me that a child can progress, given the right environment and motivation, rather than primarily focusing on repetition. I believe this holds the key to all learning. We inspire growth and challenge him from the most accepting and fun loving attitude to help him fulfill his greatest potential.
The Son-Rise Program® has taught me not to mourn my child, but to open my eyes and see the beauty and wonders in Tulonga. Because of Son-Rise, I have learned to see autism as a journey, not a burden. I feel blessed to have found such a loving program.
read or write, that he could never learn self-help skills and he would probably
end up in an institution.
That last sentence felt like a sharp knife going through my heart. Something inside me refused to believe her prediction about my child's future. I then explained to her that I had managed to potty train him (even though it was a challenge) so he was capable of learning. But instead she insisted that sometimes these children only learn one or two skills in their lifetime.
When we left her office, I helped my son into his carseat, looked at him and said, “Tulonga, don't believe anything that woman said about you. She doesn't know you. There is nothing wrong with you. You will talk when you are ready to. And you will learn to do anything you want, if you want to.”
He didn't respond or show me any sign that he understood what I had just said to him. He just sat there with a blank look on his face. I sat there next to him wondering when or what had gone wrong. My son was born a healthy and sociable baby. Tulonga was a bouncy, silly and happy baby who was developing very well. He was so alert, even as a newborn. People would often comment on how alert he seemed. But without any warning, in his second year, he began to decline into social withdrawal. Our happy little guy began to throw tantrums, hitting people when he didn't get his way and didn't seem to know how to play with other children any more. He seemed totally involved in his own world.
Even though it was finally a relief to get the diagnosis and find out that there was an explanation for his behavior, it was devastating to find out that there was no cure to autism.
Not wanting to waste any time, I immediately began to make arrangements with the Regional Center (an autism treatment place in California) to begin his treatment. I was very surprised, disappointed and even angry to find out that I was on a wait-list and there was no way of knowing when his treatment would begin. From there the journey of searching for treatment and support for my
son’s condition led from one dead-end to another.
The school district he was attending at the time informed me that they only provided therapy to children under the age of 3. They believed that children over the age of five no longer had the ability to learn. I was advised that Kaiser Permanent had the best autism treatment for children. However, they too, only provide the treatment for children under the age of 3. The doctor couldn’t help with my son’s autism, but wanted to prescribe medication to control his hyperactivity and to make him more manageable in class. Not believing medication was the answer I refused this method and continued searching for a different solution.
Our search also led us to Children’s Hospital in Columbus Ohio, where they provide treatment to children up to the age of 21. But, we learned that it would take a series of evaluations, a process lasting up to a year, before Tulonga’s treatment could even begin. Finally, the Regional Center in California got back to me with a letter suggesting that I put my son in a live-in-home for people with disabilities. At the age of six, they’d
rather lock him away than provide him with treatment. This was so heartbreaking, but it made me realize that the only person who believed in Tulonga’s recovery was me.
Some people advised me that my child was entitled to the treatment by law, and I could sue the school district for refusing to provide my son with the treatment. My answer was very simple, I wanted to use my energy helping my son, not fighting people who did not believe in his progress.
I decided to take my efforts to the internet and that's when I found the Son-Rise Program. The Son-Rise program seemed different from Applied Behavior Analysis. What I found interesting was that they joined the children in their self-stimulating behaviors instead of stopping them. In joining the child you create a bond and build a loving relationship.
I decided to join him right away, before I even went to the training. Tulonga used to run back and forth holding a stick in one hand, chanting eerie sounds. I joined him in this activity, after about 5minutes I thought to myself, “What am I doing? He doesn't even know that I'm trying to play with him.” So, I stopped. As soon as I stopped my son came up to me, looked me right in the eye and mumbled these words to me, “M-m-mommy paaay,” (meaning mommy play). I was so shocked and excited at the same time. I immediately joined him and that was the beginning of our Son-rise journey.
I attended the first Son-Rise course in January of 2008 in Sheffield MA and we have had amazing success with it. Tulonga's eye contact and willingness to interact has dramatically increased. His understanding improved, enabling him to make connections. He began to initiate play and seek his mother's attention. Tulonga has developed and progressed from anti-social, self absorbed and self stimulating activities to relating to other people, and his inter-active activities continue to expand. Tulonga has even learned to read and write at level one. He has learned addition, subtraction and multiplication.
We still have many rivers to cross but it is encouraging to find a program that believes my son's potential is limitless. Son-Rise has taught me that a child can progress, given the right environment and motivation, rather than primarily focusing on repetition. I believe this holds the key to all learning. We inspire growth and challenge him from the most accepting and fun loving attitude to help him fulfill his greatest potential.
The Son-Rise Program® has taught me not to mourn my child, but to open my eyes and see the beauty and wonders in Tulonga. Because of Son-Rise, I have learned to see autism as a journey, not a burden. I feel blessed to have found such a loving program.
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